Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize