Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
There r osticjed everywhere
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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