i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
