Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
