Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
