i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
