I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Randomize
