I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Randomize
