Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
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