She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
smell my finger.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
