The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
no, he came in my armpit
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
