And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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