And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
