I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
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