i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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