1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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