He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
pop tarts are not kleenex
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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