my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
