i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
