i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Randomize
