is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
