White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
