you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
