How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
