Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Do vagina's smell?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
