if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
