everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
