he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
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