I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
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