she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
