I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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