Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Randomize
