He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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