you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
