Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
