i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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