420 ftw
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Randomize
