You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
