I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i dont even know how to be here
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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