we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
