what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
