How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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