i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
