Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
be right there i have to get my cape
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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