Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
