Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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