tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
