Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
