Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
So apparently I’m into choking now
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