I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Buhtt sex?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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