they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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