I could have mohawked her pubes.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
