I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
