well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
