they need to just BURY HIM!
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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