i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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